Guilty as Charged

I tapped my fingers impatiently on my desk, earning a glare from the judge and the prosecutor. My client, Mr. Kantilal did not look any happier. I did not blame him, considering the fact that I looked like I would rather be somewhere else. I indeed would rather be where Ani needed me. Ani aka Aniruddh, friend, guide, co-conspirator and partner in crime. I have known Ani my whole life, we have been neighbours and friends ever since I was born, well practically since I was born.

My phone buzzed for the nth time, vibrating silently in my pocket. I knew it was him. Ani had called me about 50 times in the past hour. The especially crabby Judge Gupta had not deigned to grant us a recess. He wanted the day over with and was anxious to bring our case to a close. The prosecutor droned on with his closing argument. I hoped that the judge's bored expression meant it would end in a favorable decision for us. Harsh Uncle and Maya Aunty were like my second set of parents, I lived with them all day almost, going home only to sleep.

Ani rubbed his forehead in frustration as he glanced at the clock. It was already 6. Where was Kiran when he needed her? He sank down on the wooden bench next to him. Even if she made it on time, there was nothing more either of them could do about it today. There were going to be some serious consequences indeed. Maya was sitting hunched over in a corner of the police station, trying to disappear into the drab olive coloured wall. She looked bewildered, embarassed and hurt all at the same time. He wondered if she even understood what was happening around her.The sun was going down and no relief seemed visible on the horizon. He closed his eyes and resigned himself to a long night. How had this come to pass? He still couldn't register half of what was going on.

It was over a year ago when he met her for the first time. Kirti had flown down to Delhi that weekend, their meeting arranged by some common family friends. Harsh and Maya had already been having conversations with Raghav, Kirti's father. Kirti and Ani had been happy to oblige them with a meeting. She had charmed him at first sight. Bubbly, energetic, funny and intelligent, she seemed the perfect girl to come home to. Secure in her own skin, she was one of the most confident and beautiful people he had ever met. Kirti had grown up without her mother for most of her life and was deeply attached to her father and brother. Ani was completely bowled over by her at that first meeting.

I remember Ani raving about Kirti when he came back that night. "What do you think then?" Maya Aunty asked him. "She's perfect," he said dreamily. Maya Aunty smiled to herself. She had succeeded in her mission, to find a bride her son was completely smitten with. That night as we watched the stars lying on the moonlit terrace, all he could talk about was Kirti. Ani was at her beck and call since then, I thought showed Kirti's maturity and understanding that she did not manipulate him to suit herself. 

What followed were months of angsty phone calls, tearful flights to Mumbai and a whirlwind romance- all on Ani's part. They planned the wedding together, Ani giving precedence to her finer taste. They shopped together and organised everything together. One evening when I bounced into their house, I found Maya Aunty sitting at the dimly lit dining table flipping through bridal magazines absently. "Aunty, is something wrong? Is there anything you want to discuss with Ani and Kirti about the wedding?" "Of course not, Kiran, I was just picking out my outfits from these. Anyway, Kirti's wedding should be her own special day, I was just wishing I could have planned mine. " No matter, Aunty. You can plan mine. I am sure Mom and Dad will be more than happy to have your expert advice. I am warning you though, it'll be a long time coming."

Maya stood by Harsh at the entrance to the wedding hall. They were welcoming guests at Ani's wedding and she still couldn't believe it. Her little pudding of a child all grown up and getting married. It didn't help with the disbelief that to her it hardly looked like a wedding. Kirti's minimalist, clean cut style with muted tones and hues was so very different from her own jolly view of variegated reds and pinks. This was definitely not a Big Fat over-the-top Indian Wedding. But as Harsh reminded her, all that mattered was the smile on Ani's face.

Maya worried over what happened next. Kirti chose to stay based out of Mumbai in her consulting job, waiting for a suitable opportunity to come up in Delhi. Ani still lived at home. She had thought he might want to move to Mumbai himself. However, his new job and Kirti wanting to try and find a job in Delhi herself had kept him at home. He visited Kirti on the weekends. She was quick to defend Kirti whenever the women in the neighborhood tried to needle her into gossiping. "The poor child, she travels through the week and I can understand that she would like to stay at home. They need some time by themselves. I don't blame her for that." Ani was a great comfort to his mom when Harsh was away on his long business trips.

Ani had been Aunty's pillar when they received the news that changed their world forever. I remember that day like it was yesterday. Harsh uncle had met with an accident on the way home from the airport. We were all shell shocked, that we would never see his smile, his ringing laugh welcoming you to his house. We all grieved, months flew by like a daze. Then one day, we woke up and moved on. Except that Maya Aunty couldn't. Ani often saw her wandering about through the house aimlessly. She served him meals at haphazard times. I found her sleeping whenever I came to visit and lost items in the house turned up at unexpected locations.

I volunteered to take her to the hospital. Ani was having a tough few weeks at work. In the end, I wished I hadn't. The prognosis wasn't something I wanted him to hear from me- early onset Alzheimers. Maya Aunty spent the day in bed, staring at the ceiling, her eyes filled with unshed tears. Sacrifices had to be made. Ani couldn't make them, so Kirti had to. 6 months into the marriage, Kirti found herself in Maya Aunty's house. I am not sure that it made her very happy.

Every evening these past few months when I returned from work, I would find her at my door, waiting for me. Now I found that a bit weird, Kirti didn't always like my company, probably because I was Ani's best friend. It wasn't jealousy or anything, just awkwardness from all our shared memories. That was the only time she could get away, aunty was usually sleeping at that time. I knew what Kirti missed, she had lived only with roommates her age or alone and living in Maya Aunty's house wasn't exactly the future she had envisioned.

Kirti sat slumped against the wall after they had left. She did not have the energy to cry. All she could remember was the look on Maya's face when she was escorted out of the house. 6 months ago, when she moved in, she did not ever anticipate that this could happen. When they first started living together, she and Ani had begun to discover things about each other that they did not like very much. She hated how he threw himself into his work, leaving her to pick up the pieces.  He hated her temper and how she held on to a grudge. Ani had known how much she resented putting her career on the backburner. Just on the cusp of a promotion and transfer to Delhi.

In the beginning, it wasn't very hard. Maya was still in possession of most of her faculties and could take care of herself. Kirti saw the glimpses of her beautiful charming mother-in-law peeking through the veils of the disorder and wished she had gotten to know her better. She worked out a routine and managed to find time to go over to Kiran's place and chat. She was glad to make a new friend in Delhi, no matter that she was her husband's bestie. Her dad managed to come over a couple of times, and though she met him outside the house for the sake of convenience she was glad to see them so often.

Then gradually, it got harder. Kirti often found Maya in tears, unable to remember how to perform a simple personal task. She pushed away her help and sat sobbing through the day in frustration. She made herself sick overeating . She woke up with no sense of her surroundings and often reacted with aggression at the people around her. This last month, Kirti had been exhausted, cleaning up after Maya, helping her with every tiny task. Sometimes, it felt like she had a newborn in the house. Lack of sleep fogged her brain and made her irritable and snappy, she could feel control and cognition eluding her grasp. She couldn't do this any longer.

Ani was wishing, he had listened to Kirti when she had tried to talk to him. Instead he had brushed her off thinking it would be another diatribe on her usual topic of quitting her job on his insistence. She had probably been trying to tell him that something was going to go wrong. He had been in the middle of a client meeting, when his secretary dashed in to inform him that there had been an accident at the house. He called Kirti only to hear a garbling at the other end. It took a neighbour and five minutes to discover that his mother had been arrested. He had driven like a mad man to the Marudnagar police station and then started calling Kiran desperately until he finally heard her reassuring voice at the other end.

Kirti called me when I was on the way to the police station. She wanted me to hear her side before I met Ani. She wanted me to help Ani understand. That afternoon, Kirti had gotten a call from Sanju, her brother. He was passing through Delhi on a school trip and wanted to see her. She was too tired and fuzz brained to imagine stepping out of the house. Sanju was looking forward to a home cooked meal after days away at NCC camp and she couldn't bear to disappoint him.

Then she said, it all happened so quickly. She was so tired from her sleepless nights that she had collapsed with a book on the bed. This instead of keeping her awake put her to sleep. Her nap was broken by a high pitched wailing followed by assorted screaming and whining. By the time, she cleared the sleep from her eyes and made her way to the living room, it was all done. She had fallen to the floor, hitting the wall on the way. Sanju stood at the door, a red slash across his white shirt. Some concerned neighbours stood clustered around him and just in front of her at the open door was Maya, a pair of scissors in her hand.

Ani was getting a headache wondering how he could have missed all the signs. Kirti's exhaustion and Maya's deterioration. Kirti hadn't heard the doorbell and Maya, who she imagined had also been sleeping, had answered the door, with a pair of scissors in her hand. None of them had had any idea of the delusions that were haunting her in those days. It had taken Sanju's accident and a trip to the police station to wake him up.

Being around Ani's family the next few weeks, the predominant emotion I could sense and feel was guilt. Ani was guilty for being so much at work that he had ignored his sick mother and neglected his tired wife. Kirti was guilty for not taking care of and losing a mother yet again. Her injured brother only added to the burden on her shoulders. I was guilty for not noticing anything from the perspective of the outsider. I was the only one who knew and understood or claimed to understand all of them and I never saw this coming. Maya Aunty was feeling guilty too, but she felt that way without even realizing what she had done.

That was how I found myself sitting across from Maya Aunty at Sunnyside Villas, an assisted living facility for the elderly. Kirti sat next to me with a basket of Maya Aunty's childhood favourites. I had her favourite Shakespeare play in her hand. Maya Aunty, turned to us and began , " Do you remember.. "

Sundaes and Sunny Days

"Pistachio, please!" I still remember the first order I took when I worked at the Hampton Court Ice Cream Stand. It was a small voice that piped up from behind the counter. All I could see where a pair of round blue eyes and the beginning of a couple of orange pigtails. "Cone or cup?" I chanted sincerely from the manual I had been taken through. I looked around and didn't find the manager whose approval I was trying to get. Yes, I was a bit of a goody two shoes and in my defense, it was the first day at my first job. 

Well, how much do they cost?" went the shrill voice again. She was a bit of a curmudgeon for her age. "Ten cents extra for the cone." I replied, my voice displaying a slight irritation. Here I was trying to get my first order right and she had already spent 10 minutes studying all the colors and flavors. Now she seemed stumped by the cone/cup question. It did not seem like the debate in her head would end in a hurry. I took a deep breath of the cold air wafting from the freezer. It calmed me down as I waited for Rose's order. 

My friends would kill for this job and told me I was lucky to get it. I didn't have to trudge up muddy sidewalks in the rain delivering newspapers or break my back bending over the lawnmower. I made more money as well for every hour I worked. They came by quite often to enjoy an ice cream on my account and pass the sunny afternoon in the cool air of the ice cream parlor.

Hampton Court Ice Cream Stand had ice cream stand in its name. To call it an ice cream stand was an understatement. It was a monument to ice cream. People came in to have ice cream but also walk through a mini ice cream museum. We still had the old time ice cream churners. We didn't use them anymore, but a lot of people came in to look at them.

The only drawback of the job was that I had to be up at six and at work within the half hour.  Scrubbing the wooden floors, polishing the ice cream churners till they shone, putting up the specials were chores that we all shared. We all stood for 5 high school kids. 3 of them went to the public school in the area. I had been moved to the gifted program and had to go to another school ten miles away which supported it. The last one, Jim, was going to my school this fall. He was a transfer student to my school this year.  I had never seen him in the area before. He kept pretty much to himself as did I and all the efforts of the Roosevelt high threesome to draw us out of our respective shells went in vain.

Jim and I inevitably volunteered to clear up so the other 3 could get out early and get on with their social lives. We had to clear things up and get organized for the next shift. Nina, Beulah and Rick liked working the first shift so they could get work out of the way and enjoy their evenings. I didn't do much in the evenings, just lay on a deck chair by the pool with a book and my Ipod. My mother worried, but I lounged despite that My old friends were too far away now that we had moved. I didn't drive. So I was stuck looking for friends in the new locality. They were not easy to come by. My mom wished I made more of an effort. "For heaven's sake, you don't even talk to Jim," she stormed at me.

It was not that I did not like Jim. I liked him. Quite a lot, the little I heard him speak was good enough to make an assessment. He would be really easy to hang out with. It was a given that he wouldn't have too many friends here because he was the new guy too. My parents saw him every day when they dropped me off to work. He drove up in his beat up truck. He was quiet and respectful when spoken to. They were wishing that I would make friends with him before the school year and they would be relieved from their chauffeuring duties.

I was to see little Rose quite often that summer. She was a constant visitor to our ice cream parlor, dropping in after her Girl Scout meetings. She liked to take her time, savoring the selection of ice cream more than the actual consuming of it. She inevitably chose me, not endearing me in the eyes of the manager who swore by quick and perfect service. I'd rather she didn't choose me, but she always made a beeline towards my counter whenever she came in. Personally, I found her a bit annoying. She was too curious, always asking questions about everything. She needed to know everything, all the time. She always put me in mind of that old proverb,"Curiosity killed the cat."

That was another thing in favor of Jim. He always had a ready smile for every customer, even Rose. He was the best person you could have waiting on you. He was patient, friendly and always helpful. Which made it even funnier that Rose always picked me over him. I even asked her once, when my manager wasn't looking of course. "He has a funny smile. I don't like it! It seems off!" she responded. The cheek of that child didn't have any limits.

I had started taking the bus to work by now. But that morning, my father stopped me as I was heading out the door. " Don't leave work before I come to get you. Stay inside the shop if it is after dark OK? " Seeing my puzzled expression, he continued, "There have been some incidents lately and I don't want you walking home alone." I nodded, still not completely convinced and continued on my way to my job. My day was full and not conducive to any further brooding on the topic.

We were closing early, so we didn't have too many customers coming in the later part of the afternoon. The roads were empty of pedestrians. There were a few cars on the road. " The city of Nortonville is on high alert today." The television blared from its perch at the corner of the shop. "There have been three abductions, all of teenage girls in the area. All citizens are requested to report any suspicious behavior." I headed out, taking out the garbage. My haunches were up even though I wasn't really taking the warnings echoing around in my brain to heart. Jim was still in the shop cleaning up.

"Hey! Nina! I was just going to come and check on you!" Rose shrieked from behind me. My heart almost leapt into my throat. "Why are you hanging around the dumpsters, Rose? Or should I be scared to ask?" I said, my words coming out more cutting than I intended them to be.  Her face fell, " I was just worried about you. I didn't like the idea of you working alone with Jim today. So I came along. You know I followed Jim yesterday. Do you know what I found out?"

"No, I don't know and I don't want to know."I stalked back towards the shop. "I suggest you get back home too." "That's what I came to speak to you about. I know you are closing now. My brother and I can give you a ride back home." My foot steps slowed. I turned over the suggestion in my head. I wasn't particularly looking forward to spending the rest of the day, until my dad came to get me, with Jim. There was something about him that made me very uncomfortable. I wasn't intent on exploring my feelings this day. "Hmmmm....." I dragged out my response as I trudged back into the store. She followed close on my heels.

It was too quiet. Jim was whistling when I left. I walked towards the walk in freezer at the back of the shop. The lights were off. That was unusual. The dark dank atmosphere closed around me as I swung the door open. "No! You promised! She was going to come along. Don't!" Rose's voice shrieked. That was the last thing I heard before blackness swirled before my eyes. The last thing I saw as I hit the ground was Jim's startled eyes as he lay bleeding on the floor.

Training Wheels

He let go. She fell."Ouch!"she cried. "Sorry", he said. 'It's my fault.' ' Don't blame yourself.' ' I can't ride.' ' Are you hurt?' ' Only my pride.' 'Let's try again.' 'Not today.' ' You tired?' ' Just had enough!' ' Don't give up.' 'I want to.' 'One more time.' ' I'll magically transform?' 'It could happen.' ' Stranger things have!' she said frowning. ' Never said that.' 'Didn't have to.' ' Topic change please.' ' You were saying?' 'Was I? When?' ' Yesterday night, remember?' ' Oh, that.' ' So, not important?' 'Important, not urgent.' ' Spill it!' 'Not now, later.' 'Why not?' ' Need more time.' ' Or a phone?' ' Possibly, a phone.' 'Can't take it.' ' Can't say it.' ' Course, you can.' 'Not to you.' 'Is someone talking?' ' About what?' ' Someone is talking.' 'Yes, guess what?' ' About us?' ' Sort of.' 'Are you embarrassed?' She frowned disbelievingly. ' I am here.' He frowned back. ' Trust issues much?' 'Maybe, I don't.' ' I would lie?' ' No, just asking.'

'Never just ask.' ' So you won't.' ' Right, won't go.' 'Because of me?' ' You'd think that?' ' Because of everyone?' ' Is that worse?' ' I think so.' She said determinedly. 'Decide right now.' ' I should choose?' 'Yes, you should.' 'How can I?' ' Up to you!' ' I don't know.' 'Or don't want?' 'Could be both.' 'Not sure?' 'No one is.' ' Thought you were.' 'Not a savant.' ' That's a seer.' 'Whatever, don't care.' ' Tell me why?' ' Never ask again?' 'Try not to.' 'Promise me.' 'Okay, I promise.' ' Privacy, I guess.' ' You guess.' ' Don't know really.' ' Guessing isn't enough.' ' Deal with it.' 'Sharing is wrong?' ' Just personal opinion.' ' It's messed up!' ' Stop arguing!' ' Don't make excuses.' ' I am not.' ' It's my imagination?' ' Sometimes it's overactive.' ' It's always me.' ' That's not true.' 'This time, you?' 'You got me!'

'I don't.' ' Why the need?' ' Want to understand.' ' Better a mystery.' ' A bad one.' ' Let's do it.' ' Announce it?' 'How much longer?' 'Need convincing.' ' Announcement? Something Else?' ' What else?' ' Any regrets?' ' None now, never.' 'Just need space?' ' To be sure.' ' If everyone knows?' ' Will they?' ' I won't tell.' ' It's over.' ' How pessimistic.' ' Never peaceful again.' 'It won't end.' ' What's the point?' ' Telling the truth.' ' To everyone else? ' He sighed dejectedly. ' I am happy.' ' I am too!' ' Why the worry?' ' I am skeptical.' ' Okay, not worried.' ' Hate gossip.' ' Thinking ruins everything.' ' I should stop?' 'Just relax!' ' I am trying.' ' Try harder.' ' I don't agree.' ' It's perfect timing.' 'I disagree.' 'Please do.'

'Worth it?' ' You gotta ask?' 'It's to me.' ' Only you matter.'' I know.' ' So you'll go?' ' Prom sucks!' ' Less with me.' ' You aren't scared?' ' Of what?' ' Wrong ideas?'  ' Should I be?' ' Something like that.' ' Do you care?' He said, 'No!'. ' I don't either.' ' Let's go!' ' Great, finally!' ' Get back on!' ' Ordering me huh?' ' That's impossible.' ' Hold on tight.' 'Trust me.' ' That scares me.' 'Need to start.' They both smiled.

A to Z - Akash

I am in yet another school- my 7th school in 8 years. I can't even make an effort anymore. I smile, I wave, I make inane conversation mechanically. All the schools look the same, grey or pale green institutional colors with bars in the windows. There are more people who have coalesced into a single identity than I can remember.

As the breeze from the window hit me, I thanked my stars for having bagged the prime window seat. All my years of moving have left me with one important lesson. 'Always be on time on the first day of school'. I was inevitably late every other day. The first day for me is a milestone. The day you pick your seats and proceed to scare away everyone from you for the rest of the year with the best imitation of the evil eye. I never failed to get the seat I wanted.

"Eeeh," a shriek interrupted my thoughts. A slightly built classmate of mine was busy shushing her statuesque friend. Her friend towered over her but quailed in the line of her fierce gaze. Turning slightly, she caught me observing their conversation and it deepened into an angry or embarrassed flush. I puzzled over which it was. Wait, the taller girl looked familiar. She was a danger Sam had warned me against. Sam was my campus buddy. My first normal campus buddy, actually. Therefore by default, he was the first person I met at Avon High. Providentially, he turned out to be awesome and in the same grade as me. To quote Sam, 'She is on the prowl. So take care.' That sounded ominous and he assured me it had nothing to do with any sort of relationship which confused me even further.

Still, I took his warning to heart. I needed to figure my life out before I even thought about anything else. A school each year was hard enough without any potential entanglements. I did not work well with high maintenance. "Zara! Zara! Stop!" Nina cried out. So her name was Zara. Interesting name! She didn't pay any attention and just continued walking. "Sam!" I tapped his shoulder. He had the other good window seat in front of me." I need a drink of water!" "The cooler's down the hallway. Head straight down and take a right". "Cool! Thanks! No, I 'll find it, not a problem!" I hurried in the direction of the water cooler.

Lost and Found- Part 1

Meet Don, 30 years old. He's about 5 feet 6 inches tall, short compared to the rest of his clan. If you were kind, u would call him broad shouldered. If you weren't, you would approximate a rectangle.

He likes taking walks in the summer sun just as much as in the pleasant rains. So you would find him nicely bronzed off on a good day and badly sun burnt on others. The first thing everyone noticed about his hair was never the color. You just saw that there seemed to be too much of it on that little head of his. But for purposes of your imagination it was coffee grounds brown. If you met his eyes, which you inevitably did, because he always did talk that way, was a softer ice tea brown.

Before he starts sounding like one of those stock photos on the internet or a safe date on an internet dating website, let's see what Don was getting upto now. He was sitting on the edge of his seat on the 10:30 subway going downtown. "Ping!" went his phone. He scrolled through it absentmindedly.

"Not another of these reports!" he thought to himself," I should never have subscribed to this alert service." Though it wasn't really much of a choice anyway. His job as a hot shot financial expert demanded this at a minimum. He had never borne the brunt of a bubble bursting around him, but it would be good to be in the loop when it did. 

So, now that he was 30, in fact that very day was his birthday, Don was thinking very deeply about nothing in particular. Especially not what he was going to do next. He wasn't much of a philosopher, but he hadn't gotten away unscathed from the kind of situations he had been in. Introspection was dangerous, so he tried not to indulge.

He tried to look fascinated again as he caught sight of the skyline. Another day, another dollar!